Tall Tales

Alex alligator arrived at Allison Arthur's apple farm in April, when the apple trees were covered with blossoms.
"Whatever am I to do with an alligator?" Allison asked.
Inside the box, Alex yawned. Alex stuck his legs through the holes at the bottom of the box and ambled into the house in search of dinner.
"Oh no you don't!" cried Allison. "You cannot live in the house. You are to stay in the stream behind the apple orchard."
Allison put Alex in the small stream. Then Allison put a strong fence around the stream so Alex did not try to eat Mrs. Chory's chickens.
Alex liked the stream and his pen. He especially liked the steaks Allison gave him every morning and evening.
One day in August a red apple fell off a tree and rolled under the fence and into Alex's pen. Alex sniffed it a bit and then took a bite.
It was the most delicious thing Alex had ever eaten. Alex slipped under the fence and ambled into the apple orchard. Alex found a line of baskets sitting under a tree. Alex ate all the apples in the baskets. Then he wandered under another tree and ate all the apples in the baskets he found there. He was very happy. And very full. He went back into his cage.
Allison came by later with his steak. Alex sniffed at it, but he was not very hungry.
"Do you know what someone did Alex?" asked Allison. Alex yawned. "Someone stole all my apples. They knocked over the baskets and stole the apples. If it happens again, I'm calling the police."
That night, Alex had a very pleasant dream about apples. After his steak the next morning, Alex slipped under the fence and out into the orchard. There were a bunch of people climbing up and down ladders with baskets. Alex watched for a few moments. Then he realized that when the people came down the ladders, their baskets were full of apples.
Alex wandered over to the closest ladder. A small girl descended with a basket full of apples. Alex grinned at her. The little girl screamed and dropped the basket. She ran away, yelling for her mother. Alex stuck his head in the basket and began eating apples. He heard voices coming towards him.
"Now April, you know what I've said about fibbing. There are no alligators in this orchard." said April's mother. Alex pulled his head out of the basket and grinned at April's mother.
"Ahhhh!" she screamed. April and her mother ran away as fast as they could.
Alex walked over to another tree. A man was climbing down the ladder. He stepped on Alex's back. Alex grunted and tried to walk away. The man looked down at Alex and yelped. The man dropped his basket and ran toward the house. Alex ate all the apples in his basket.
Just then, Allison came running into the orchard.
"Alex!" she yelled. Alex took one look at Allison and bolted back into his pen. Allison followed him.
"So you're the one who ate all my apples." she said. "I'd better fix your cage."
Once Alex's cage was fixed, he could no longer go into the apple orchard. Alex stared longingly at the trees full of apples.
At dinner time, Allison brought Alex a steak as usual.
"You are a bad boy, Ales," she said. "But I can't blame you for liking apples. I brought you a surprise."
Allison went outside the cage, and picked up a basket. It was full of apples! Alex ate all the apples before he ate his steak.
Allison laughed. "I'll bring you apples every night Alex," she said. That is exactly what Allison did.

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Brenda was busy baking a batch of blueberry muffins in the kitchen of Butler's Bakery when the bell rang.
"Be with you in a bit," Brenda called, brushing her blond braid over her shoulder.
Brenda put the blueberry muffins into the oven and bustled into the store. A big brown bear stood with his paws on the counter.
"Grumph," said the big brown bear.
"Aaaaa!" said Brenda Butler.
Brenda ran out through the back door to get Bill Boyle, the policeman.
"Bill, there is a big brown bear in the bakery!" Brenda cried.

"A bear?" Bill asked.
Bill followed Brenda into the bakery. The bear was busy eating blintz's and a bunch of bagels. It looked at Bill Boyle and grunted bad-temperedly.
"Here bear. Nice bear," Bill said nervously.
The bear gave Bill a baleful grin. Bill backed away. The bear ambled toward Bill. Bill ran.
"Oh boy," Brenda babbled and fled from the store.
"I'd better call Barney," Bill told Brenda.
Barney Blake was the local dogcatcher for the town of Bradley. Barney drove up in his big blue van and hopped out.
"Where's the bear?" Barney asked Brenda.
"It's in the bakery," Brenda said.
Barney took a big net and went into the bakery. Brenda heard a bang. Grabbing a broom from the closet, Brenda rushed into the store. Barney was standing on a bench, waving his arms and yelling "Shoo!" at the bear. The bear was biting Barney's black boots hungrily.
Brenda beat the bear with the broom. "Back off, you big bully," Brenda shouted.
When the bear bit the broom, Barney jumped off the bench and ran out of the bakery. Brenda followed.
"What happened to your net?" asked Brenda breathlessly.
"The bear broke it," said Barney.
A wave off smoke came billowing out the back door of the bakery.
"My blueberry muffins are burning!" cried Brenda. She raced into the kitchen.
As Brenda removed the burnt blueberry muffins from the oven, the bear came into the kitchen.
"Shoo you bumbling brute," Brenda said to it. "You are bad for business. You made me burn my muffins."
Brenda threw a blueberry muffin at the bear. The bear ate the muffin and went back into the store.
"Is it gone?" asked Bill, as he and Barney came cautiously into the kitchen.
"The bear is in the store," said Brenda. "I have a plan."
Brenda sent Bill to get some honeycomb and had Barney back his van behind the bakery. Meanwhile, Brenda beat up a batch of buttermilk biscuits. Then she mixed the honey from the honeycomb into the batter. Soon, the kitchen was bursting with the smell of honey buttermilk biscuits.
The loud banging noises the bear was making in the bakery store ceased abruptly as the bear smelled the honey. Brenda carried the big batch of biscuits out to the van. Bill opened the back door. The breeze blew the smell of the honey-buttermilk biscuits into the bakery. The bear nudged open the swinging door of the bakery and ambled into the kitchen. He knocked over the big brown bowl and grumbled when he found no honey.
Then the bear sniffed his way out the back door. Brenda had placed the basket of biscuits at the back of Barney's van. The bear bounded up the ramp and Barney banged the door shut. Brenda and Bill cheered.
"I will take the bear back to the forest and let him out," said Barney.
While Barney and the bear drove away in the blue van, Brenda and Bill bustled back into the bakery to clean up.

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"Chick, chick, chick," called Carol Chory as she chucked corn onto the ground. Chickens popped out of the hen house and scurried into the yard. Charlie Chicken strutted to Carol Chory's side.

"Something new, Charlie," cried Carol, "Here is some caramel corn." She gave Charlie a handful. Charlie Chicken scratched at the caramel corn, then took a chunk and swallowed quickly. Carol Chory chuckled and went inside.

Beside Charlie, a hen began to choke on the caramel corn. She flapped about the coop in a frenzy. Soon chickens were choking and flapping all over the chicken coop. Charlie swallowed another chunk of caramel corn. The corn got caught in his throat. Charlie Chicken choked and flapped out of the coop and into Cobb street.

Charlie Chicken bumped blindly into Karl Kramer's cart full of chocolate-covered cherries and flopped inside. To Karl's consternation, the cart began to tilt. Suddenly the cart full of chocolate-covered cherries began rolling down Cobb Hill. Karl gave a shout and chased the cart. Charlie Chicken choked and flapped among the chocolate-covered cherries.

Kristel Cramdon screamed when she saw Karl's cart full of chocolate-covered cherries careening down Cobb Hill with Charlie Chicken's white wings flapping frantically at the front.

"Look out!" called Karl.

As the cart rolled past Kristel, a loose piece of board hooked into her cream-colored coulats and ripped them right off. Kristel gasped and tried to cover her polka-dotted bloomers, just as Karl Kramer crashed into her.

The cart continued its calamitous path down the hill, cream-colored coulats flapping at the rear and Charlie Chicken choking and flapping at the front. It cruised under the ladder on which Ken stood cleaning his chimney. The ladder collapsed and Ken landed face-first among the cartons of chocolate-covered cherries.

Charlie Chicken flapped frantically in fright as Ken gave muffled cries from underneath the cherries. Kristel Cramdon's cream-colored coulats fluttered in the wind and the cart full of chocolate-covered cherries continued to roll down Cobb Hill toward the center of Coon Falls.
Policeman Chad Charles leapt into Chin's China Shoppe to avoid the cart. He crashed into Chin and they fell to the floor, crushing most of Chin's china.

The cart took a short cut through Carla Cutler's courtyard and caught her laundry line, full of frilly pink underwear, on one of its upward planks. Kris Kringle, Carla Cutler's charcoal-colored miniature collie jumped aboard the cart when he smelled the chocolate-covered cherries.

Kris Kringle took a bite out of Ken's nose before discovering it wasn't a chocolate-covered cherry. Ken clouted Kris Kringle and blotted his nose with Carla Cutler's pink underwear. In the front of the cart, Charlie Chicken continued choking and flapping as the cart cruised into Cobb Court at the center of Coon Falls and crashed into Cami's Custard Stand.

Kris Kringle landed in a vat of chocolate custard. Ken splashed into the Coon Court fountain, as the chocolate-covered cherries cascaded all over the square. Carla Cutler's frilly pink underwear showered upon Cami's customers and Charlie Chicken crashed onto the ground. The caramel corn came flying out of Charlie's throat and rolled into a storm grate.
Charlie Chicken was annoyed by the rucus. He ruffled his feathers and went home. Charlie strutted past Cami's Custard Stand, where Cami was shouting at Ken about her underwear-strewn customers. He strolled passed the chocolate-covered Kris Kringle, who was licking custard off of his charcoal-colored fur. He went by a red-faced Carla Cutler, on her way to collect her collie and her frilly pink underwear. He flapped around Chin's China Shoppe where Chin was chucking china at Policeman Charles. Finally, he edged around the polka-dotted-bloomer clad Kristel Cramdon, who was clobbering Karl Kramer with her handbag and strutted into his yard.

Mrs. Chory's chickens had flopped in feathered heaps all over the yard, gasping heavily. The caramel corn lay uneaten on the ground. Carol Chory came out of the house. "How did you like the caramel corn, Charlie?" she asked. Charlie Chicken gave an indignant sqwauk and marched back into the chicken coop.

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Harry Horse loved to watch television. He loved the cartoons and the sitcoms. He watched the movies and listened intently to the talk shows as the sounds drifted through the open window in the kitchen.
Every day, Mrs. Harvey would watch her favorite show on the small white television set on the kitchen table. Many an afternoon, Harry would stick his head through the paddock fence and follow The Trials and Tribulations of Raymond and Julia Tanner.
Harry would lean as close to the open window as he could to catch every word.
"Come roll in the grass Harry," the other horses would say. "Race with us across the wide, green meadow."
But instead, Harry would watch television.
One afternoon, a brand new commmercial came on.
"Worried about hair loss?" said the television. "Is baldness creeping up on you? Get Miracle Hair Tonic and fight back!"
"I should get some of that for Sam," Mrs. Harvey said, jotting down the toll free number.
Mr. Harvey had a bald spot at the top of his head. Harry liked to blow on it when Sam gave him his grain.
"Harry, what are you doing?" Harriet Harvey asked.
Harry pulled his head through the fence.
"Come on. I'm going to clean you up for a ride."
Harry loved having Harriet curry comb him. She scratched all the itchy places.
"You're going bald, Harry," said Harriet.
Harry looked around. The curry comb was full of hair. More hair was drifting down from his side. Harry could not believe it. Bald! Just like Sam.
As he jogged around the ring, Harry pictured himself losing all his hair. How the other horses would laugh!
When they got back to the barn, Harry watched Harriet curry his itchy spots. Maybe she had been joking. But again, the curry comb was full of hair.
Harry was so embarrassed that he stayed in his stall for the rest of the day.
"What's wrong, Harry?" asked Sam when he brought Harry his grain. Harry shook his head. Several hairs floated off his neck.
"Soon you'll be as bald as me!" Sam said. "Amelia should get some hair tonic for you."
Harry perked his ears. Mrs. Harvey had ordered hair tonic. Maybe, if he could get some of it, he would not go bald.
Harry waited all week for the hair tonic to arrive. The only time he went out of his stall was when Mrs. Harvey turned on her show. While he was watching The Trials and Tribulations of Raymond and Julia Tanner, Harry could forget his creeping baldness.
On Friday, Mrs. Harvey came into the kitchen with a box. Harry hurried over to the fence to watch her open it. It was the hair tonic!
"Dilute in water and spread over balding area," Mrs. Harvey read.
She put the bottle down by the sink.
Harry stared at the bottle. If he could get his nose in the window, he might be able to reach it. Harry squeezed his neck as far as it would go through the fence. He got a mouth full of curtain, but no bottle. Then Harry shoved his shoulders through the fence. This time, the tip of his teeth touched the bottle. It rocked a few times and then landed gently in his mouth.
Harry trotted to the barn. He broke the bottle gently into the water trough. The water turned green. Harry ducked his nose into the water. He rubbed it over as much of his body as he could reach. He planted his feet on each side of the trough and lowered his belly into the water. Then Harry sloshed some water on the grass and rolled in it.
"What are you doing Harry?" asked Harriet. She was sitting on top of the fence. Harry stood up quickly. Harriet's mouth fell open.
"Ma, Dad, come quick!" yelled Harriet. "Harry's turned green!"
Harry looked down at himself. He was green all over. Harry bolted into his stall, followed shortly by the Harveys. Sam Harvey took one look at Harry and started laughing. Harry tried to duck behind his manger.
"How do you suppose he turned green?" asked Mrs. Harvey.
"It looks like he's been dyed," said Sam.
"Daddy, the troughs filled with green water," shouted Harriet, running into the barn. "I found this beside it."
In her hand was the broken bottle of hair tonic.
"Miracle Hair Tonic?" asked Sam.
"I got it for your bald spot," said Mrs. Harvey.
"Oh Harry," said Harriet, "I was just teasing you. You're not going bald. You're just losing your winter coat."
Harry hung his head.
"Just think, Dad, if you had used the hair tonic, your hair would be green instead of Harry's," Harriet said.
"We'd better wash him off," said Mrs. Harvey.
So Harry had a bath. In fact, he had several baths. He ended up a light green color with patches of brown here and there. His nose remained dark green because he had dipped it so many times into the tonic. And Harry stayed green until he lost the rest of his winter coat. The other horses were very understanding about the whole thing, but Sam Harvey laughed each time he fed Harry.
Harry never watched television again. Instead, he rolled in the grass and went running across the wide, green meadow with his friends.

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Dolly Dittlemore put her harmonica into her pocket and said: "I am going to march in the Fourth of July parade. Don't get into any trouble, Yankee Doodle."
Yankee Doodle, her pet donkey, nodded his shaggy brown head up and down and continued to munch on the piece of drape he had bitten from the window. Dolly and her father left the bright sunny garden and walked down Drake Drive together.
Suddenly Yankee Doodle realized Dolly had gone downtown without him. Yankee Doodle brayed in distress. He dropped the drape and trotted to the gate. Yankee Doodle nudged the door open. Then Yankee Doodle went to town.
By the time Yankee Doodle reached the end of Drake Drive there was no sign of Dolly. Yankee Doodle drifted past Anna's Fresh Fruit Stand. Yankee Doodle liked the look of Anna's apples. He took a mouthful.
"There's a donkey eating the apples!" shouted a little boy.
Anna came running out of the store.
"Shoo Yankee Doodle!" she shouted. "Go home."
Yankee Doodle did not want to go home. Instead, he trotted down the street, toward the crowd at the far end. Yankee Doodle paused to eat Baby Bobby's bibs off the clothesline. Bobby's mother chased him away with a broom.
Then Yankee Doodle spotted the supermarket. With a happy bray, he jogged through the cheering crowd, past the shopping carts, through the automatic doors and into the vegetable aisle. He had eaten all the corn and had started on the lettuce when the manager came running up.
"Get out of here!" he yelled. "Help, police!"
Yankee Doodle did not want to leave the supermarket. There was so much to munch on, all in one place. But he did not like the noise the manager was making, so he left the lettuce and went into aisle eight. It was full of paper products. Yankee Doodle liked paper.
The manager came into the paper aisle with Sergeant Peters the policeman.
"See here, you can't eat that!" said Sergeant Peters as Yankee Doodle munched on some paper plates.
Sergeant Peters tried to pull Yankee Doodle out of the aisle. Yankee Doodle didn't like that. He brayed loudly and threw up his head.
The manager tried to push Yankee Doodle out of the aisle. Yankee Doodle refused to budge. Several shoppers tried to help, but no one could make Yankee Doodle move.
Outside the supermarket, Justin's Jug Band struck up the song Yankee Doodle Dandy as they marched by in the parade. Yankee Doodle stopped chewing the package of cups. He liked the sound of that song. Dolly sang it to him every night when she fed him.
Behind him, Sergeant Peters and the manager were pushing on his back end. Yankee Doodle did not like that. He decided to look for Dolly. Yankee Doodle trotted out the door. Sergeant Peters and the manager fell in a heap behind him.
Yankee Doodle followed the Jug Band up the hill. Dolly was playing harmonica with the band when she spotted him.
"Yankee Doodle!" shouted Dolly.
Yankee Doodle brayed happily. He had found Dolly.
"Yankee Doodle, you go home right now!" said Dolly.
Yankee Doodle did not want to go home. He wanted to march in the parade with Dolly. She handed her harmonica to her father and ran after him. Yankee Doodle thought it was a game and danced in and out of the crowd, knocking over some clowns and sending their balloons heavenward.
"Oh, dear!" Dolly cried. "Yankee Doodle, you are ruining the parade."
Yankee Doodle began to eat a clown's hat. He stayed just out of reach when Dolly's father tried to grab him. Several strangers in the crowd tried to catch him, but Yankee Doodle just ran back into the center of the parade and trotted behind a big float of the American flag.
"Quick, everyone," called Dolly. "Play Yankee Doodle Dandy again."
The members of the Jug Band reassembled and began to play. Yankee Doodle brayed happily. They were playing his favorite song. "Yankee Doodle keep it up/Yankee Doodle dandy," Dolly sang.
She led the Jug Band away from the parade and up Drake Drive toward her house. A large number of people followed them. Yankee Doodle was hee-hawing happily along with the band. They finished the song in front of Dolly's yard. Yankee Doodle trotted through the open gate. Dolly closed it with a flourish. The members of the Jug Band cheered.
"Put Yankee Doodle away," Dolly's father called, before he left with the band to rejoin the parade. Dolly Dittlemore glared at Yankee Doodle.
Yankee Doodle backed into the corner of the garden.
"No carrots for a week!" said Dolly and put him into his stall.
Yankee Doodle never went to town again.

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"Oh pooh," said Mrs. Polly Peters to her pet parrot Petey. "Where did I put that pen?"
"Petey's pens," said Petey Peters, bobbing his green head up and down inside his cage.
Mrs. Peters started looking for her pen. She crept under the desk, until only her pink penny-loafers were showing.
"The pen is not under here!" she said. When Mrs. Peters crawled back out, she was all dusty.
Next, Mrs. Peters crawled around the pink rug, looking for her pen. Her nose was close to the floor, because she had forgotten to put on her glasses. She looked like a pink-and-purple puppy dog.
Petey bobbed up and down excitedly in his cage. He wanted to play the new game too.
Mrs. Peters looked inside all the flowerpots on the windowsill. But she still could not find her pen.
"I have misplaced four pens this past week," Mrs. Peters said with a frown. "This is a most maddening mystery."
Mrs. Peters was a poet. She wrote poems for Petunia Press. She used her pink and purple pens every day. Mrs. Peters had no pink and purple pens left, so she put on her hat and went to Patsy's Odds 'N Ends to purchase some pens.
Mrs. Peters told Patsy her problem. Patsy sold Mrs. Peters a purple pen holder in which to put her pens.
"This will put an end to misplaced pens," said Mrs. Peters.
Mrs. Peters placed the purple pen holder on her desk and put her pink and purple pens inside it. The next morning, they were gone!
"This is perfectly preposterous!" cried Mrs. Peters.
Petey Peters peered out of his cage.
"Petey's pens," Petey remarked, blinking his brown eyes at her.
"Petey Peters," said Mrs. Peters. "Someone is stealing my pens."
"Petey's pens," agreed Petey Peters, bobbing his green head up and down.
"We must catch the thief," Mrs. Peters exclaimed.
Mrs. Peters went to Patsy's to buy more pink and purple pens. She also purchased a Polaroid camera. When Mrs. Peters got home, she placed the pink and purple pens inside the purple pen holder. Then, she covered Petey Peters' cage with a pink and purple polka-dotted cover and put herself to bed.
At midnight, Mrs. Peters snuck out of bed with her newly purchased Polaroid. She perched on a purple cushion in the doorway.
Soon, Mrs. Peters heard a plink. Then Mrs. Peter's heard a flapping sound and a thump. "I caught you red handed!" shouted Mrs. Peters, snapping a picture on her Polaroid. There came a clatter, a flapping sound, and another plink.
Mrs. Peters turned on the light. A purple pen lay on the floor! The pink and purple polka-dotted cover on Petey's cage was crooked. A pair of brown eyes peered out at her.
Mrs. Peters watched the Polaroid picture develop. Soon she saw Petey Peters, her pet parrot, pulling a purple pen out of the purple pen holder!
"Petey Peters have you been taking my pens?"demanded Mrs. Peters, pulling the pink and purple polka-dotted cover off of his cage.
Petey peered out at her.
"Petey's pens."
Mrs. Peters pulled up the papers from the bottom of Petey's cage. Underneath the papers, she found all of her pink and purple pens! Mrs. Peters was pretty peeved with Petey. She purchased a new cage with a door that Petey could not open. Then Mrs.Peters took away all of Petey's pens.
Except for one purple and pink striped pen.
Now, whenever Mrs. Polly Peters takes out her pink and purple pens to write poems for Petunia Press, Petey Peters pulls out his favorite pen so he can play too.


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